Tuesday, July 31, 2007

Wordy Rappinghood

I'm out with a friend and somehow we start talking about homonyms. (He writes plays and stuff.) He mentions that there are homonyms that are also synonyms, such as an apple and a Washington Delicious Apple.

We spend a little time trying to come up with homonyms that are antonyms, which we don’t have any luck at, because we are on our third or forth beer.

This goes on for a while and then we start talking about words in general.

‘My favorite are onomatopoeias,’ I say, ‘that’s when a word sounds like what it is, as in gerrymandering.’

Monday, July 30, 2007


The bartender hands me a slip of paper and says, ‘on the front I wrote my name and number. On the back I wrote the things I don't do on a first date.’

I look at the paper, read the name and number, then flip it over. There’s nothing written on the back.

‘Do you really,’ I ask, ‘spell your name with two x’s?’

Saturday, July 28, 2007

Welcome to Chicago

I’m at the White Sox game and the girls three rows behind me are being crowded on either side by overly large White Sox fans.

‘No one's going to be sitting in these seats,’ I turn around and tell them, gesturing to all the empty seats around me. ‘I have the tickets for them in my pocket.’

They talk it out for a moment and then step down and sit, still leaving an empty seat between us.

This is all occurring during one of the many contests that go on during the breaks in action that allow for television commercials. They woman playing the contest wins thirty dollars worth of lottery tickets. The kid won a t-shirt the last contest. The guy before that won a tote bag.

‘Is it just me,’ I ask them, ‘or do these prizes really suck?’

One of the girls laughs, but her friend just leans in and says, very directly, ‘Why are you here alone?’

I toy briefly with the idea of coming up with something as desperate as the question deserves--My wife left me and took the kids? My parents and brother were killed in a car accident last month?--but instead I tell the simple truth.

‘I’ve just moved to Chicago and someone from work gave me the tickets,’ I say, ‘I called the three people I know in Chicago but none of them were available.’

They smile and ask me where I'm from and we get to talking.

‘Welcome to Chicago,’ they say at the end of the game, which the White Sox lost to Detroit. And I do, I do feel welcomed.

I have a good feeling about this…