Doctor Erik and The Germ

I made a new friend; his name is Germ. He's a cop and the lead singer in a punk band. And his girlfriend's a drag queen.

'They're going to put our adventures,' he told me, 'in comic books.'

'They already have,' I said.

Things I like about Chicago

There are bus stop benches all over the city that read:

YOUR AD ON THIS BENCH

And nearly every one of them, as if the city as a collective whole decided it was a typo, has been amended to read:

YOUR AD ASS ON THIS BENCH

Though my favorite one reads:

YOUR AD CUNT ON THIS BENCH

---

At the hospital, someone put up a handwritten sign by the elevators on each floor that read:

I lost my dark brown
backpack. Please call.

and on each floor, in different handwriting, it's been amended to read:

I lost my dark brown lover
backpack. Please call.

Sometimes I wish that I could stop me from talking...

one

After the rugby game, someone's complaining that he was told he had manboobs. (which he did)

He asked a group of us if we though he had manboobs, lifting his shirt slightly above his nipples as he did so.

'Yeah, you have'em,' I said, with buzzing honesty, 'but they're not huge. They're like a French girl in an independent film. I wouldn't worry about it.'

two

I'm talking to someone about gay people and the difficulty of creating an identity that doesn't center around their sexuality.

I'm talking about how I was spared some of this difficulty because I have gay father. Oddly, at some point I try to make a comparison to the newly rich and refer to gay people who don't have a gay parent as 'nouveau gay.'