tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-50996794545634938412024-03-06T00:02:47.089-06:00The Chicagoland DiariesErikhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07425331958599186471noreply@blogger.comBlogger28125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5099679454563493841.post-45143191238009663072008-08-09T11:52:00.007-05:002008-08-09T12:09:00.606-05:0010 items or lessSo my friend Dan and I have this running joke about how it's impossible to buy condoms with anything else without creating a narrative. It started when I kept loosing my padlock for the gym and ended up buying padlocks and condoms from the same checkout girl twice within the space of a month.<br /><br />So yesterday I go to Target and got to the checkout aisle with:<br /><blockquote>Apples to Apples (a board game)<br />shaving cream and razors<br />200 sq feet of tinfoil<br />granola bars<br />condoms</blockquote><br />As I'm putting the items on the conveyor belt I start giggling. So I'm trying to stifle the laughter and end up with a ridiculous smirk on my face.<br /><br />I could see the checkout girl pause briefly, trying to come up with something other than her normal exit greeting before-uncomfortably-saying,'Have a good evening.'Erikhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07425331958599186471noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5099679454563493841.post-29949322914783800652008-08-08T07:49:00.001-05:002008-08-08T07:49:49.136-05:00Suprising Number of Gorillas Found in CongoWhen I saw <a href="http://dsc.discovery.com/news/2008/08/05/gorillas-congo.html" target="_blank">this</a> headline I thought about how perspective can be so important. Because while they were surprised to find 125,000 western lowland gorillas in the Republic of Congo, it would only take one to surprise me in my living room.Erikhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07425331958599186471noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5099679454563493841.post-74198271509940825802008-07-04T18:12:00.004-05:002008-07-04T18:19:36.431-05:00The Poo Story<div style="text-align: center;">1.<br /></div><br />My mother and my sister Marci came to visit a few weeks ago. Marci’s now 6 months pregnant and starting to have issues with constipation. So she was eating some of the delicious prunes that I had. Prunes have the worst rap. They are very delicious; sometimes they call them dried plums, because that’s what they are. I love them. So Marci was eating quite a few of them, thinking they might loosen her up.<br /><br />She was popping one in her mouth, when she stopped her hand before the prune reached her mouth and asked, ‘do prunes give you gas?’<br /><br />‘My god, yes. I had to stop eating them,’ my mother said. ‘They nearly got me fired!’<br /><br /><br /><div style="text-align: center;">2.<br /></div><br />So T and I are at a barbeque at a friend of his, whom I had not previously met. Everyone is in the backyard of the apartment and having fun. About 3 or 4 hours in, I have to use the toilet.<br /><br />So I go and as I’m about to pee, I realize it’s going to be a bit more involved than that. When I sit down, I realize how complicated it is.<br /><br />I’m hoping I can make it back to the party without anyone noticing that I’m the one leaving the bathroom, but when I open the door someone is waiting. I get back to T, lean in and say, ‘We have to go, I just destroyed their bathroom.’<br /><br /><br /><div style="text-align: center;">3.<br /></div><br />So Stephen Soderbergh (no relation) and I are at the Decemberists concert and this cute little couple is behind us getting all slobbery and kissy. They were cooing and starting to annoy me, so I started farting. After a little while, the smell calmed their passions and allowed me to concentrate on the show.<br /><br /><br /><div style="text-align: center;">4.<br /></div><br />I stepped into a little bar for happy hour and as I ordered my first drink I suddenly had to get to the toilet really, really badly. One of those times when even a 50 foot walk to the toilet could require a change of underwear. So I got past the dirty urinal and closed the broken stall door as fast as I could.<br /><br />Within 2 minutes it was completely foul in there. Just fucking repulsive.<br /><br />I was almost through when someone came in and—before even making it to the urinal—let out a disgusted groan. After a pause—still in disgust, but now with a bit of attitude—he said, ‘I’ve never seen someone take a shit in a gay bar before.’<br /><br />By that time I was finished and stepped out to wash my hands.<br /><br />By way of explanation and—I hoped—apology, I said ‘I think I had too many nachos at the movies today.’<br /><br />The guy just shook his head at me and walked out, not even washing his hands.Erikhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07425331958599186471noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5099679454563493841.post-49465659005970027782008-06-15T11:41:00.008-05:002008-06-20T06:56:19.490-05:00A Boy Like ThatMy friend T and I went to an afternoon party last Sunday. He's Turkish, so people are often asking him about his ethnicity. Because it comes up so often, he often turns it around and asks people to guess mine. They don't guess it correctly, so I say, "half-Cuban, half-North European mix."<br /><br />Sometimes when I give the reveal it's met with the chorus of, "you don't look Cuban." If I'm ornery I'll say, "Actually, I do. I just don't look like what you imagine Cubans to look like." But I'm not ornery too terribly often and today the conversation sails along.<br /><br />So a little later we move to a nearby table and someone asks about T's ethnicity and we talk about Turkey and then T asks them to guess mine. This guy at the table, who had been all smiley and flirty with T and I says, "Mmmm, I'd say half-Cuban, half-North European mix." Using the very words that I had said 10 feet away 30 minutes prior.<br /><br />T doesn't make the connection and asked him how he guessed it.<br /><br />"Well, he's from Miami," he said. "So I thought, like, Cameron Diaz is half-Cuban."<br /><br />I'm annoyed that he doesn't own up to overhearing the conversation, so I lie saying, "Cameron Diaz is half-Mexican, not Cuban."<br /><br />"Oh, well, it's like in West Side Story," he says, retreating a bit, "all the Cubans are--"<br /><br />"Those," I say, "were Puerto Ricans."<br /><br />"Well," he says, "same di--" He cuts himself off, I guess realizing what he was about to say.<br /><br />"He was about," I say, turning to T, "to say 'same difference.' At which point I would have climbed across the table and throttled him."Erikhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07425331958599186471noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5099679454563493841.post-44212766782114316762008-06-13T14:45:00.006-05:002008-06-13T14:57:24.974-05:00Do I have something in my teeth?<div style="text-align: center;">1.<br /></div>On Tuesday evening, I was at eating outside at Thai Village and a couple was seated next to me. They were in their late twenties and dressed like a first date. The guy pulled out his chair so his back was to the sun, saying, "You're wearing sunglasses so why don't you face the sun?"<br /><br />I was thinking what a tool he was, but looking at the woman. When I looked at him he was staring at me, with this big, beefy tongue hanging half out of the side of his mouth, chewing on it. I looked at him for a second, but he didn't look away. He just kept staring at me and chewing on his tongue. I looked at my plate.<br /><br />The rest of the meal, he didn't really look over at me again. Odd.<br /><br /><div style="text-align: center;">2.<br /><div style="text-align: left;">I went out to The Continental with Steven Soderberg last night. We were drinking refreshing Gin & Tonics. There's no smoking inside bars here in Chicago, so many people were making frequent trips outside to smoke. This guy got up to leave and he was looking at me as he walked. I made eye contact with him and he held it just long enough to run smack into the door. Odd.<br /><br />I guess he was expecting it to be open.<br /><br /><br /><br /><br /></div></div>Erikhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07425331958599186471noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5099679454563493841.post-20107089081202582742008-06-11T17:06:00.009-05:002008-06-11T17:18:40.667-05:00Doctor McPlayer?What's going on this week?<br /><br />Yesterday Dan sent me a link to <a href="http://www.apple.com/trailers/fox_searchlight/choke/trailer/" target="_blank">this</a> trailer, saying it made him think of me. Today my dad sends me this article:<br /><br /><blockquote style="font-family: arial;"><h1><span style="font-size:85%;">Paging Doctor McPlayer</span></h1> <div><span style="font-size:85%;">By TIFFANY MILLER, SPECIAL TO <a href="http://payscale.com/" target="_blank">PAYSCALE.COM</a></span></div> <div><span style="font-size:85%;"><a name="11a79a81b3d66922_11a78ed8ce905dbf_11a78d4746d6d5da_mod.338001"></a></span> <div><span style="font-size:85%;"><br /></span></div></div> <div><span style="font-size:85%;">Dr. Jim Henry follows a strict personal policy -- never mixing business with pleasure. So Dr. Henry makes his $350,000 salary work for him and dates outside the workplace instead.<br /><br />With five years of slave-to-the-job residency before moving on to 80-hour work weeks, physicians typically have limited time to party. While this can lead to break room hook-ups, the gossip is usually better than the actual sex. As for the opportunity to have McSteamy sex at work: "It does happen, but it's definitely not happening in my life," Dr. Henry said. The 32-year-old orthopedic surgeon says he's never been tempted to break his policy, even when a patient tracked him down at his San Francisco home.<br /><br />If you knew Dr. Henry by day, you'd assume he had no social life. Everyone does need to sleep after all. But then, not many people really know Dr. Henry.<br /><br />"There's a business face and a social face," he said. It should be noted that the surgeon doesn't sleep much.<br /><br />"It's truly amazing what the human body can adapt to," he said, admitting that he does catch up on zzz's once in a while, grabbing a non-stop 14-hours on those rare moments off.<br /><br />So let's get to know the real Dr. Henry. Here is how he spent last week:<br /><br />Went on a first date with a 21-year-old on Tuesday, one of those braniac college chicks who worked every summer to start her career as fast as possible. Says he had no idea she was quite that young. Took her to Red Devil Lounge, a club that is both intimate and posh. Brought her home to show her the crazy sex he knew she'd never had.<br /><br />Went on a fifth date with a 42-year-old single mom on Thursday. She's old enough and certainly hot enough to be a cougar. But Dr. Henry's too old to be her boy toy. Sprung for hot dogs and beer at the Giants game. She showed him a thing or two in the bedroom.<br /><br />Saved Saturday night for the 32-year-old career gal, a two-month relationship he's sure is close to its end. Enjoyed the night anyway and coughed up the big bucks at the very exclusive restaurant Limon.<br /><br />It's the life of a serious playboy.<br /><br />"You walk this fine line. When you're getting physical, a lot of assumptions are made. Even though nothing has been verbalized," he said. "But I'm not awful. I never commit. I'm not cheating."<br /><br />That didn't stop one of his longer flings from throwing a water bottle at him. He's right, assumptions are made.</span></div></blockquote><div><div><h3><span style="font-size:85%;"></span></h3></div></div><br /><br /><br />Just as a preemptive, if you're thinking about telling me how emotionally damaged I am or how I have difficulty forming deep emotional attachments: I've already gotten the memo, thanks.Erikhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07425331958599186471noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5099679454563493841.post-88174335114896272592008-05-26T21:01:00.007-05:002012-08-12T07:19:10.071-05:00Stevie Nicks, minus the laceThis weekend <a href="http://www.imrl.com/index.php">International Mr. Leather</a> was held here in Chicago and my <st1:place>rugby</st1:place> team, the <a href="http://www.chicagodragons.org/">Chicago Dragons</a>, had a booth at the Leather Market. We sold T-shirts and raffle tickets and promoted the club. The booth next to ours had a video dealer that had lots of horse and goat porn. They also had things like poop eating and what have you. It was funny to look over and if it was just someone jerking off or having regular sex, you'd get that pit in your stomach feeling you get when watching a slasher flick and someone suggests they hide in the basement--you know something awful is about to happen and you have to keep watching to see what it is.<br /><br />I met someone who had bought a leash and collar with his friend. They bought it as a joke and were having fun with it. (I originally wrote 'they bought it as a gag,' but realized in this context that could be confusing.) When I grabbed the leash, he tried to bite me, but then we all became friends. And let me tell you, leading someone around on a leash got me into all kinds of parties that night. The spanking party was probably the most fun to watch. At one point, we got a vacuum out of a storeroom and walked the halls of the hotel. When we heard a party going on, we knocked and called out "room service."<br /><br />I spent most of Sunday afternoon working the rugby booth again, then wondering around the Leather Mart. There is a whole community of people who are into B&D, which seems to be the preferred term for S&M, that's into dressing the submissive one as a <a href="http://akleatherfashions.ecrater.com/product.php?pid=1516892">dog</a>. This seems an oddly specific fetish, but I got to scratch some of them behind the ears, so I thought it was cool. These hoods are very pricey. My friends tried to get me to buy one, but I couldn't figure out when I'd wear it. I liked the idea of ordering a pizza and then putting it on before the delivery driver showed up.<br /><br />I made friends with someone at the <a href="http://www.forttrough.com/">Fort Trough</a> booth. He was wearing these bleached out jeans that had a zipper on the backside. He showed me how they worked, but I had trouble zipping them back up. It took both hands finessing the zipper for quite a while before I closed it.<br /><br />Sunday night was the after party at the House of Blues. The Dragons had an opera box to hang out in. That was nice. The leather people shun deodorant and Friday and Saturday that was probably okay, but by Sunday they made the whole place smell like ass. (The chaps, leather jocks and harnesses probably added to this as well.)<br /><br />I ended up playing kissy face with this Cajun. I'm a little unclear what happened, but all of a sudden he was all wet. I think one of the other ruggers threw a drink on his back or something. He went off to the bathroom and I didn't see him again.<br /><br />Then someone showed up in our box wearing a leather kilt and claiming, I think, to be Mr Leather <st1:country-region><st1:place>UK</st1:place></st1:country-region>. He showed us his penis. It was very large. He suggested we kiss, but I didn't think that was a very good idea.<br /><br />Today's been about sleeping and watching TV. I'm on vacation this week.Erikhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07425331958599186471noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5099679454563493841.post-25769055985092089052008-05-23T20:03:00.004-05:002008-05-26T22:53:36.434-05:00Cards on the table top<p class="MsoNormal">Sometimes, it's hard to write.<br /><br />Life in <st1:city><st1:place>Chicago</st1:place></st1:city> continues to be full. Last weekend we hosted a rugby team from <st1:city><st1:place>Minneapolis</st1:place></st1:city>, so it was all parties and drunken rugby nudity. On Monday Steven Soderbergh (no relation) invited me to a wine dinner at <a href="http://www.bistrocampagne.com/">Bistro <st1:state><st1:place>Champagne</st1:place></st1:state></a>. We had sweet breads!<br /></p><p class="MsoNormal">Tuesday was rugby practice.<br /><br />Wednesday John--back in <st1:city><st1:place>Chicago</st1:place></st1:city> for a few days between 5 weeks of trips to <st1:state><st1:place>California</st1:place></st1:state> and Asia<st1:place></st1:place>--and I went to see Avenue Q. I got paged during the first act and as I tried to make my way back to my seat along the row, by jacket button got caught in a woman's hair. It was awful--she had to untangle me from herself.<br /><br />Thursday J-Rim took me to the symphony. The Opera and Symphony always have a 'doctor of the house.' They organize it with us, so we get to go to the performances for free with a guest. If something happens, we help out.<br /><br />I was all set to go the <st1:stockticker>REM</st1:stockticker>/Modest Mouse/The National concert on Friday. But that morning when I confirmed plans with DJ JD, I found out it's two weeks away. I was happy to have the night off. <!--[endif]--></p>Erikhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07425331958599186471noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5099679454563493841.post-7107864719392327392008-03-28T08:17:00.001-05:002008-03-28T08:17:32.436-05:00I smell a movie deal<a href="http://blog.wired.com/underwire/2008/03/anti-emo-riots.html" target="_blank">Anti-emo riots break out in Mexico City</a>. <br /><br />Javier Bardem as the chief of police! Marc Anthony as the manager for Juanito Come el Mundo! And Rita Moreno as the mother fighting for her son's right to shoegaze.<br /><br />For the boy--torn between his death metal friends and his Emo girlfriend--we're going to need some fresh-faced unknown. Does Gael García Bernal have a younger brother, some Joaquin Phoenix waiting in the wings?Erikhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07425331958599186471noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5099679454563493841.post-62115988710836511742008-02-07T07:24:00.000-06:002008-02-07T07:27:39.266-06:00I've got my mind set on you"I always had brains on my arms," is my favorite quote from <a href="http://www.nytimes.com/2008/02/05/health/05pork.html?_r=1&oref=slogin">this</a> story that 5 people sent me yesterday.<br /><br />I had a tie that I loved, and during a neuro autopsy case, I leaned too far in and got brain on it. I tried cleaning it, having it dry cleaned. Let me tell you something, nothing can get brains out of a tie.<br /><br />I still wore it, because the stain was small. But occasionally med students or nurses would tell me I got something on my tie. "I know," I'd say with resignation, "it's brain and I can't get it out with anything."Erikhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07425331958599186471noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5099679454563493841.post-82999319054883580532008-01-12T07:55:00.000-06:002008-01-12T17:17:39.907-06:0040 Tips for an Exceptional Life (both versions)As a New Year's greeting, my cousin sent me the following list:<br /><blockquote>40 Tips for an Exceptional, Superb & Powerful Life!<br /><br />1. Take a 10-30 minute walk every day. And while you walk, smile. It is the ultimate anti-depressant.<br />2. Sit in silence for at least 10 minutes each day. Buy a lock if you have to.<br />3. Buy a Tivo (DVR), tape your late night shows and get more sleep.<br />4. When you wake up in the morning complete the following statement, "My purpose is to___________ today."<br />5. Live with the 3 E's -- Energy, Enthusiasm, Empathy.<br />6. Watch more movies, play more games and read more books this year than you did last year.<br />7. Make time to practice meditation, yoga, tai chi, and prayer. They provide us with daily fuel for our busy lives.<br />8. Spend more time with people over the age of 70 and under the age of 6.<br />9. Dream more while you are awake.<br />10. Eat more foods that grow on trees and plants and eat less foods that are not manufactured in plants.<br />11. Drink plenty of water. Eat blueberries, wild Alaskan salmon, broccoli, almonds and walnuts.<br />12. Try to make at least three people smile each day.<br />13. Clear your clutter from your house, your car, your desk and let new and flowing energy into your life.<br />14. Don't waste your precious energy on gossip, energy vampires, issues of the past, negative thoughts or things you cannot control. Instead invest your energy in the positive present moment.<br />15. Realize that life is a school and you are here to learn. Problems are simply part of the curriculum that appear and fade away like algebra class but the lessons you learn will last a lifetime.<br />16. Eat breakfast like a king, lunch like a prince and dinner like a college kid with a maxed out charge card.<br />17. Smile and laugh more. It will keep the energy vampires away.<br />18. Life isn't fair, but it's still good.<br />19. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone.<br />20. Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does.<br />21. You don't have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.<br />22. Make peace with your past so it won't screw up the present.<br />23. Don't compare your life to others'. You have no idea what their journey is all about.<br />24. Burn the candles, use the nice sheets, and wear the fancy lingerie (not you guys.) Don't save it for a special occasion. Today is special.<br />25. No one is in charge of your happiness except you.<br />26. Frame every so-called disaster with these words: "In five years, will this matter?"<br />27. Forgive everyone for everything.<br />28. What other people think of you is none of your business.<br />29. Time heals almost everything. Give time…..time.<br />30. However good or bad a situation is…..it will change.<br />31. Your job won't take care of you when you are sick. Your friends will. Stay in touch.<br />32. Get rid of anything that isn't useful, beautiful or joyful.<br />33. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.<br />34. The best is yet to come.<br />35. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.<br />36. Do the right thing!<br />37. Call your family often.<br />38. Each night before you go to bed complete the following statements: "I am thankful for __________." Today I accomplished _________.<br />39. Remember that you are too blessed to be stressed.<br />40. Enjoy the ride. Remember that this is not Disney World and you certainly don't want a fast pass. You only have one ride through life so make the most of it and enjoy the ride.<br /></blockquote><br /><br />I responded with the following email:<br /><br />I couldn't help but notice the distinctly anti-vampire slant to this list. I have made a vampire friendly version.<br /><blockquote><br />40 Tips for an Exceptional, Superb & Powerful Life!<br /><br />1. Take a 10-30 minute walk every day. While you walk, suck the life blood from a young virgin. It is the ultimate anti-depressant.<br />2. Lie in silence for at least 10 hours each day. Buy a lock for your coffin if you have to.<br />3. Buy a TiVo (DVR), tape your midday shows and kill more people at night.<br />4. When you wake up in the morning complete the following statement, "My purpose is to <span style="text-decoration:underline;">become a better vampire</span> today."<br />5. Live with the 3 S's – Stalking, Sucking, Stealing.<br />6. Watch more vampire movies, play more vampire games and read more vampire books this year than you did last year.<br />7. Make time to practice kung fu, turning into bats/snakes/wolves, and sucking the life blood from virgins. They provide us with daily fuel for our busy lives.<br />8. Spend more time with people over the age of 70 and under the age of 6. (No one will miss the former and the later have strong energy)<br />9. Dream more while you are awake.<br />10. Provide more foods that grow on trees and plants and less foods that are not manufactured in plants for your prey. They'll taste much better.<br />11. Drink plenty of blood. Eat blueberry farmers, wild Alaskan fishermen, and joggers.<br />12. Try to make at least three people scream each day.<br />13. Clear your clutter from your castle, your coffin, your wives and let new and flowing energy into your life.<br />14. Don't waste your precious energy on gossip, werewolves, issues of the past, negative thoughts or things you cannot control. Instead invest your energy in the positive present moment.<br />15. Realize that life is a school and you are here to learn. Problems are simply part of the curriculum that appear and fade away, much like us turning into a mysterious fog.<br />16. For breakfast eat a king, lunch a prince and dinner a college kid with a maxed out charge card.<br />17. Smile and laugh more. It will keep the werewolves away.<br />18. Life isn't fair, and it's good we have the advantage.<br />19. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone. Kill them and be done with it.<br />20. Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does.<br />21. You don't have to win every argument. Kill them and be done with it.<br />22. Make peace with your past so it won't screw up the present. (Or kill them and be done with it.)<br />23. Don't compare your life to others'. You have no idea what their journey is all about.<br />24. Burn the candles, use the nice sheets, and wear the fancy cape. Don't save it for a special occasion. Today is special.<br />25. No one is in charge of your happiness except you.<br />26. Frame every so-called disaster with these words: "In five minutes, all of you will be dead! Mwa ha ha ha ha."<br />27. Forgive everyone for everything, or kill them and be done with it.<br />28. What other people think of you is up to you. Use mind control if necessary.<br />29. Time heals almost everything. Time…..and the blood of virgins.<br />30. However good or bad a situation is…..it will change.<br />31. Your job won't take care of you when you are sick. Your friends will. Especially if they are virgins. Suck them dry.<br />32. Get rid of anything that isn't useful, beautiful or a virgin.<br />33. Envy is a waste of time. Steal what you need.<br />34. The best is yet to come.<br />35. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up, show up and make them scream before they die.<br />36. Do the right thing!<br />37. Call your family often.<br />38. Each morning before you lie down complete the following statements: "I am thankful for <span style="text-decoration:underline;">being a vampire</span>." "Today I accomplished <span style="text-decoration:underline;">killing innocent virgins</span>."<br />39. Remember that you are too blessed to be stressed.<br />40. Enjoy the ride. Remember that this is not Disney World and you certainly don't want a fast pass. You only have one ride through life so make the most of it and enjoy the ride.<br /></blockquote>Erikhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07425331958599186471noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5099679454563493841.post-33437824921547697622007-12-12T13:08:00.001-06:002007-12-12T21:06:14.414-06:00Happy HolidaysIn small talk lately, people ask me circumspectly, 'what holiday do celebrate?' Not even committing to a 'do you celebrate [Hanukkah/Christmas]?' Does this happen to everyone? Or is it happening because of my ambiguously Jewish last name?<br /><br /><HR><br />I went to Aimee Mann's Holiday Variety Show last night. (Suck on that, PlanetDan who never visits me in Chicago) The live comic bits seemed a bit forced: two funny people suddenly having to be funny is rarely funny. <br /><br />The music was great and the bits that were more scripted and canned like a traditional variety show seemed to work better. I especially enjoyed the Hanukkah Fairy, who rapped the story of the Maccabean revolt. The chorus had Aimee background singing 'She's the mother fucking Hanukkah Fairy.' <br /><br />Aimee also made a holiday film. At one point she's walking on the beach talking about how she needed to be alone and get away from all of the Hollywood bullshit. The camera man asks her if the crew should give her some space and let her be alone.<br /><br />'No,' she says, 'could you just film me being alone for a while?'<br /><br /><hr><br />Last week I went to the Modest Mouse show with my friend Steven Soderberg (no relation). I had missed them at Lallapalooza and had been looking forward to them for a long time. Steven may or may not have been looking forward to seeing the band, but he did get to enjoy some frottage with the straight college dudes who were crowded around us.<br /><br />'When it happens with straight college dudes,' I said, 'I think it should be called <span style="font-style:italic;">frat</span>tage.'<br /><br />Rim-shot<br /><br />Thank you, good night!Erikhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07425331958599186471noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5099679454563493841.post-5138963390389086212007-12-06T06:59:00.001-06:002007-12-06T07:01:20.660-06:00Winter WonderlandIt snowed in Chicago this week. It's the first time I've seen real snow in about 13 years, so I've been listening to PlanetDan's <a href="http://www.planetdan.net/blog/2007/11/kickass-xmas-2007.htm">Christmas CD</a> and driving around the city.<br /><br />When I was a child, I had a Christmas Carol songbook and the lyrics to Winter Wonderland had a typo, so for most of my life I thought the lines were:<br /><blockquote>We'll say 'are you married?'<br />He'll say 'no man, <br />but you can do the job <br />when you're in town'</blockquote><br />As a child, I didn't question the lyrics--in the same way that I knew 'bells on Bob's tail' rang, but didn't realize Bob was the horse's name. But as an adult, I wondered exactly what job the minister had in mind. I imagined clandestine scenes in the fellowship hall and behind the baptistery.<br /><br />It wasn't until a few years ago--when I had a couple of eggnogs in me at a Christmas party and suggested something about snowballing--that someone explained the correct lyrics to me.Erikhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07425331958599186471noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5099679454563493841.post-65957929206978992222007-11-14T06:58:00.000-06:002007-11-14T18:33:22.913-06:00CondomadlibsI have come to realize that there is virtually no combination of items that can be bought with condoms that don't inspire jr high laughs. I have written about buying the combo of condoms and padlocks, buying the combo twice in two months time because I am constantly forgetting combinations. I have read several accounts of similar experiences, my favorite was condoms and 20 pounds of catfood.<br /><br />This weekend I bought them with a money clip, a USB JumpDrive, two batteries and three padlocks.<br /><br />No matter what you buy it's like you are smirking saying 'that's what she said' to some random comment.<br /><br />But while we're talking about it, Trojan Ultra Thin has made some sort of improvement and I highly recommend them. I actually had to stop and check it, thinking it had come off.Erikhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07425331958599186471noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5099679454563493841.post-26660800209603777852007-10-23T17:17:00.001-05:002008-12-09T22:25:41.330-06:00Doctor Erik and The Germ<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgkTygXqDIV3wMtmPMq9WawJ9cL3wXLFAdSCrNZAgdrgFwIjVtR1ZnbpunQo12RZC6FbY2yFc8q7GwmhVuhuWbuRafMqgjCorPEarjINEGeIWuKFwV1-N84IP4CA9xldogkvATIX4HlGPQ/s1600-h/Doctor+Erik+and+The+Germ.gif"><img style="float:right; margin:0 0 10px 10px;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgkTygXqDIV3wMtmPMq9WawJ9cL3wXLFAdSCrNZAgdrgFwIjVtR1ZnbpunQo12RZC6FbY2yFc8q7GwmhVuhuWbuRafMqgjCorPEarjINEGeIWuKFwV1-N84IP4CA9xldogkvATIX4HlGPQ/s400/Doctor+Erik+and+The+Germ.gif" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5124662167815893602" /></a><br /><br />I made a new friend; his name is Germ. He's a cop and the lead singer in a punk band. And his girlfriend's a drag queen. <br /><br />'They're going to put our adventures,' he told me, 'in comic books.'<br /><br />'They already have,' I said.Erikhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07425331958599186471noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5099679454563493841.post-75351976909363721782007-10-09T07:06:00.000-05:002007-10-09T07:23:52.658-05:00Things I like about ChicagoThere are bus stop benches all over the city that read:<br /><br /><blockquote><span style="font-size:130%;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">YOUR AD ON THIS BENCH</span></span><br /></blockquote><br /><br />And nearly every one of them, as if the city as a collective whole decided it was a typo, has been amended to read:<br /><br /><blockquote><span style="font-size:130%;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">YOUR <s>AD</s><span style="font-weight: bold;"><span style="font-size:85%;"> </span></span></span><span style=";font-family:arial;font-size:78%;" >ASS</span><span style="font-weight: bold;"> ON THIS BENCH</span></span><br /></blockquote><br /><br />Though my favorite one reads:<br /><br /><blockquote><span style="font-size:130%;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">YOUR <s>AD</s><span style="font-weight: bold;"><span style="font-size:85%;"> </span></span></span><span style=";font-family:arial;font-size:78%;" >CUNT</span><span style="font-weight: bold;"> ON THIS BENCH</span></span><br /></blockquote><br /><br /><hr /><br /><br />At the hospital, someone put up a handwritten sign by the elevators on each floor that read:<br /><br /><blockquote><span style="font-size:130%;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">I lost my dark brown</span><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">backpack. </span><span style="font-weight: bold;">Please call.</span><br /></span></blockquote><br /><br />and on each floor, in different handwriting, it's been amended to read:<br /><br /><br /><blockquote><span style="font-size:130%;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">I lost my dark brown </span><span style=";font-family:arial;font-size:85%;" >lover</span><br /><s style="font-weight: bold;">backpack</s><span style="font-weight: bold;">. </span><span style="font-weight: bold;">Please call.</span><br /></span></blockquote>Erikhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07425331958599186471noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5099679454563493841.post-71941115862316821082007-10-05T07:23:00.000-05:002007-10-05T07:34:29.964-05:00Sometimes I wish that I could stop me from talking...<div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">one</span><br /></div><br />After the rugby game, someone's complaining that he was told he had manboobs. (which he did)<br /><br />He asked a group of us if we though he had manboobs, lifting his shirt slightly above his nipples as he did so.<br /><br />'Yeah, you have'em,' I said, with buzzing honesty, 'but they're not huge. They're like a French girl in an independent film. I wouldn't worry about it.'<br /><br /><br /><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">two</span><br /></div><br />I'm talking to someone about gay people and the difficulty of creating an identity that doesn't center around their sexuality.<br /><br />I'm talking about how I was spared some of this difficulty because I have gay father. Oddly, at some point I try to make a comparison to the newly rich and refer to gay people who don't have a gay parent as 'nouveau gay.'Erikhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07425331958599186471noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5099679454563493841.post-727413953598919252007-09-13T10:14:00.000-05:002007-09-14T20:43:06.254-05:00Every Song is a ComebackWhen we first get to Pritzner Pavillion at Millennium Park <a href="http://www.wilcoworld.net/">Wilco</a> was not going to go on for about 40 minutes. So my friend Steven Soderbergh (no relation) and I laid down in the lawn and are looking at the sky blue sky (it was, really) and chilled out, eyes half closed. Both of us had worked a long day--I in the clinic, he running delicious wines about the town.<br /><br />The lady next to us leans over and asks, 'do you have any more of whatever you guy's just did?'<br /><br />'I just had a big bowl,' I tell her, 'of fettuccini alfredo.'<br /><br />'Well, I suppose,' she says, 'that would do it, too.'<br /><br />Watching the show in our hoodies as the sun goes down over the Chicago skyline, the day's cool and reminds me that fall's almost here. And, like Jennifer Grey, I'm having the time of my life.Erikhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07425331958599186471noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5099679454563493841.post-16694897923241665632007-09-10T10:28:00.000-05:002007-10-10T05:41:03.052-05:00one monthI haven't even told you about joining the Rugby team yet, have I? Things have been so busy and full the past couple of weeks.<br /><br />I got back to Iowa for a reunion with my cousins and had a great time. We went canoing and mountain biking up at the farm. <br /><br />A judge struck down a law prohibiting same sex marriage and my father and his partner of 30 years got married--my sister and I lit the candle at the beginning of the church ceremony. A stay was placed on the order to permit same sex marriages and though they have their marriage license, the clerk was not permitted to record it--so they are in limbo until the state supreme court reviews the appeal.<br /><br />I went to see <a href="http://www.davidbazan.com/">David Bazan</a> with my friend Johnny at The Beat Kitchen last Saturday. I've said before that when you think you are the only person in the world who cares about something or are trying to figure out if we have any obligations to anything, Pedro the Lion's voice beckons you out of your wilderness. David Bazan dropped the moniker of Pedro the Lion, but is still standing sentry. <a href="http://www.cftpa.org/">Casiotone for the Painfully Alone</a> opened for him. Watching him set up his sound boxes and devices was more interesting than most television.<br /><br />I also joined a rugby team, the Chicago Dragons. We practice on Tuesdays and Thursdays. That keeps me pretty busy--it's surprising how much two nights a week takes of your time. We also go out after practice--on school nights. So Wednesday and Friday I typically nap after work. It's just as well though, cause after practice I hurt from working out weird muscles. My shoulder was terribly sore for about 10 days.<br /><br />More later...Erikhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07425331958599186471noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5099679454563493841.post-19191787410227832512007-08-13T07:11:00.001-05:002007-08-13T07:13:56.241-05:00USA! USA!According to new numbers released by the Census Bureau, the life expectancy of Americans is now less than the life expectancy of 41 other countries. We have fallen from the 11th place we held 20 years ago.<br /><br />But before you get all excited and point to our lack of a single payer system as the cause (it's lack of insurance, not who's paying for it, that is likely the largest problem) let me refer you to Paul Terry, an assistant professor of epidemiology at Emory University in Atlanta, who sited our obesity rates as a factor in our rating drop:<br /><br />"The U.S. has the resources that allow people to get fat and lazy. We have the luxury of choosing a bad lifestyle as opposed to having one imposed on us by hard times."<br /><br />Woo hoo! USA! USA!<br /><br />Take that, Micheal Moore!Erikhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07425331958599186471noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5099679454563493841.post-56123581136920519792007-08-12T18:57:00.000-05:002007-08-12T23:16:59.316-05:00SpermMy lesbian sister has decided to have a baby. She's researching sperm banks and called to ask if I'd fill out some forms for her, as the institutions require a physician to sign off before giving women semen samples. The forms essentially say that the woman understands the risks and benefits of sperm, specifically that she is aware the product can cause her to become pregnant.<br /><br />As we talked about the odd set of litigation concerns they must have, I suggested that if she needed more than three or four samples she make a complaint call.<br /><br />'I have two complaints,' she'd tell them. 'The first is that I've been using your product for several months now and I'm still not pregnant. The second is that it tastes terrible.'Erikhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07425331958599186471noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5099679454563493841.post-70686162015309243052007-08-07T10:16:00.000-05:002007-08-07T14:49:46.582-05:00Lollapalooza, day threeOn Sunday, I'm able to sleep in a bit and hit the gym before heading to Grant Park. My shoulders and back have been uncomfortable, so I wasn't going to work out too hard. Surprisingly, my whole body felt a lot better after going to the gym.<br /><br />When I get to the Bud Light stage Amy Winehouse's covering Lauren Hill's Doo Wop. Her set's very good, mixing her limited oeuvre with girl group covers. Her voice and backing band are solid and she's dressed really cute.<br /><br />At the end of her set, I watch a bit of Paolo Nutini, whom I thought was Brazilian but is actually from Scotland. That takes a while for me to wrap my head around and I end up being let down and leave their show after a song or two. <br /><br />I get some chicken-on-a-stick over noodles, which are very good--slurping it all down. Then head over to the AT&T stage, where my good friend Adam had set up camp right in front of the sound deck. There was a fenced off <span style="font-style: italic;">T</span> from the deck to the stage so that no one would trip or disconnect the cables. He had put a blanket down in the corner of the <span style="font-style: italic;">T</span>, made some friends, and been elected as viceroy of Cornerville.<br /><br />I settled in among them and got ready for Kings of Leon, whom I had been very excited about seeing for quite a while. They were fucking incredible.<br /><br /><object height="350" width="425"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/UsMEF4WWI7Y"><param name="wmode" value="transparent"><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/UsMEF4WWI7Y" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" wmode="transparent" height="350" width="425"></embed></object><br /><br />My original plan was to head over to Yo La Tengo and then Modest Mouse (whom I had also been anticipating for a long time), then head back to watch Pearl Jam perform a couple of songs, then head out. But my friends talk me into staying in Cornerville and seeing My Morning Jacket-who are performing with the Chicago Youth Symphony Orchestra-and then Pearl Jam. Things are getting so crowded we were becoming ensconced within the crowd. I waffled for a few minutes-I really didn't want to miss Modest Mouse-but decide to stay in Cornerville.<br /><br />This is kind of important, because this is where the weekend changed for me. Up until this point I've been enjoying the bands, but I was mostly hanging out toward the outer half of the crowds, close enough so the sound is good and I can see the stage-but really I watch the big screens, a habit I dislike, but can't stop. Out there, the people sway, occasionally dance, some lounge on blankets and tap their toes. Some even read beach novels while their friends enjoy the music. In Cornerville, I'm in the throng. The people around me are ecstatic and jumping and entirely into the music.<br /><br />I had heard of, but not heard, My Morning Jacket before. They were so delightfully good. I'm having an amazing time, grooving on a Sunday afternoon. The Youth Symphony Orchestra were exactly what I hoped for, some of the boys trying to look cool with sunglasses, some of the girls trying to contain their smiles.<br /><br />Before they started we braved through the crowd to pee and buy beer. That occurred around 5:30. My Morning Jacket finishes at 7:15 and I'm ready to pee again, but we were fully immured by the crowd. There was no getting out for more beer or a bathroom or even a porta-potty. By 8:15 Pearl Jam hasn't started yet and I know there's no way I'm going to last until 10 without peeing. Adam feels the same way, so he has his girl stand in front of him and pisses into a cup while I serve as a side block, turning my back to him and chatting up the girls who are sitting next to us.<br /><br />'How are you girls doing?' I ask. 'Isn't this a great weekend? The bands sound great. Did you see Daft Punk? I hear they were amazing.'<br /><br />But it's apparent what we're doing and the crowd around us lets out signs of disgust, especially when he's done and pours the urine into a bottle so he could cap it off.<br /><br />I wait a few minutes until Pearl Jam is getting ready to go on and the crowd is distracted. Adam covertly holds an empty trash bag in front of me while I piss and the crowd's none the wiser.<br /><br />One final note: Pearl Jam rocked so fucking hard it made me remember why I love music.Erikhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07425331958599186471noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5099679454563493841.post-77141261384506994822007-08-05T09:36:00.000-05:002007-12-12T21:13:28.868-06:00Lollapalooza, day twoAfter I went home from day one, I ended up going out to meet up with my friend <a href="http://www.blogger.com/profile/00689795212796453233">Johnny C</a> to see the <a href="http://www.fleshhungrydog.com/">Flesh Hungry Dog Show</a>. I was out until nearly 1 am drinking Jack and Coke, so my plans to get up early and work out before day two didn't happen.<br /><br />I make it to Target and get some milk and some cargo shorts. The cargo pants I wore on day one were too damn hot. I make it to the park, all sunscreened up, a little before two and head straight to Tapes'n Tapes who are playing the MySpace stage. I've built them up in my head quite a bit-even though I haven't really listened to their music-so I'm a bit disappointed with their solid perfomance.<br /><br />Silverchair follows them on the AT&T stage. The lead singer has the cheesy rock banter down pat. I can't tell how much of it is a put on. He also has the rock guitarist thing down, playing it with his teeth, kneeling down to play parts of songs just by changing the settings on the pedals. He started the show wearing a jacket and no shirt, then took it off revealing a pretty cut body, some tattoos and bilateral nipple piercings. He says the drummer asked him to clarify that they weren't gay. I was happy for the clarification. I've noticed several men in Chicago who appear straight, but with pierced nipples. It's something that doesn't make any sense to me. (But I don't like my nipples played with, so maybe it's just me.) Anyway, it sounds like Silverchair has been listening to a lot of Rush and Prog Rock since the last time I listened to them. Also, they have the crowd sing the chorus on a lot of their songs. I never really considered them a chick band, but it's the girls who seem to know all the words.<br /><br />I get a call from my friend Adam and we try to meet up near Buckingham Fountain. We're not able to find one another, but he texts me an invite to his boss's vodka lemonade after-party. This day is delightfully overcast and a great temperature. It keeps threatening to rain, but at this point it hasn't.<br /><br />One of the best things about this festival is that Grant Park has real, brick and mortar bathrooms with running water. They have several hundred porta-potties, but there was never much of a line at the real bathrooms. So I head to one and was waiting with about 4 guys for a urinal and this guy comes up and opens the door to one of the stalls. It's the handicapped stall, and when the door opens everyone in line has a direct view of this poor guy reaching around to wipe his ass. The guy apologized for opening the door and threw it shut. The guy wiping his ass, in this kind of pathetic voice, said it was alright and then apologized for not locking the door. He explained that he could not get it to lock. All of us in line have now become part of this interaction and here is where it gets really disturbing: When the guy slammed the door shut, it slowly swung back open.<br /><br />They guy, who is still wiping his ass asks the guy to please shut the door. But he's so aghast that-even though he is maybe 3 feet from the door-he has his head bowed and eyes closed-trying to pretend he is somewhere far far away-and does not hear him. Those of us in line hear him, but are already far more involved in the situation than we want to be and are doing our part by pretending the door isn't still open. The third or fourth time the guy's pleading voice asks him to shut the door, he snaps back to reality and shuts it for him.<br /><br />So I pee, wash my hands and head out for a Bratwurst and some new sunglasses. I watch The Roots who are performing at the Bud Light stage. They give a great summer afternoon concert, all rhythm and joy with inspired versions of some of their best songs. (My favorite was a sped up and extra groovy The Seed.) Here's what they sound like live:<br /><br /><object height="350" width="425"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/yKxsRnDqO-g"><param name="wmode" value="transparent"><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/yKxsRnDqO-g" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" wmode="transparent" height="350" width="425"></embed></object><br /><br />Ragina Spektor disappoints me with a rather extreme faux gratitude. She sees the crowd and looks positively shocked that anyone's there. Was this a surprise concert? Did her friends tell her she was going to see someone else perform? 'You all are here to see <span style="font-style: italic;">me</span>?' every glance seemed to say. Some girls behind me start mocking her, screaming loudly, 'We love you Tori!!!' She dedicates a song to, I think, 'Patty Smith' (rhyming Smith with pith, not scythe) and drumming a chair with her right hand while playing her piano with her left. The drummings terribly syncopated, it becomes more so until I have to believe she's just fucking up. At that point I leave and get an ear of corn (delicious) and catch the end of The Hold Steady (excellent).<br /><br />I see The Yeah Yeah Yeah's, who are a revelation. She introduces Maps by asking if anyone in the crowd had fallen in love that summer, saying that there is nothing as sweet as summer lovin'. She dedicates the song to everyone who has fallen in love and the crowd seems to buy it. Enough so that I thought I have been misreading the song all these years, until at the end of the song she holds up the mic like it's a dagger and plunges it into her heart.<br /><br />On my way to see Spoon, I run into one of my best friends from school, Sean, whom I haven't seen or heard from in four years. I hang out with him and his little brother for the rest of the night. At the Spoon show, there's a couple in front of us, she has her back to the stage and is alternating between making out with him (with her leg hiked up around his waist) and dancing/rubbing against him. Sean leans over and asks me if I think 'they're on E or just assholes.'<br /><br />'Assholes,' I say. Spoon's giving a great show. Later, someone's weaving through the crowd in front of us, but when he sees the couple, he comes to a dead stop and looks first at them and then at me with a 'what the fuck' open-mouthed look on his face.<br /><br />'It's been going on for some time,' I deadpan, shaking my head.<br /><br />'They were in front of me at the last show, too,' the girl next to me says. 'They've been at it all afternoon.'<br /><br />'Do you think they're in love,' I ask her, 'or just assholes?'<br /><br />'Assholes,' the girl says.<br /><br />'Assholes, definitely,' the guy weaving through crowd agrees, before continuing on his way.<br /><br />We head over to the Bud Light stage to watch Interpol. They are, as expected, very, very good.<br /><br />I take the train home and go to sleep.Erikhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07425331958599186471noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5099679454563493841.post-4585383744427974672007-08-04T08:42:00.000-05:002008-12-09T22:25:41.850-06:00Lollapalooza, day oneI get a late start on my day. My ambitious plan's to clean the house, work out, go to Target and head to Grant Park for Lollapalooza in time to catch Elvis Perkins, who opens the show at 11:30. Instead, I check my email, try to figure out my new Tivo and don't make it to the park until nearly one.<br /><br />The first thing that strikes you about Lollapalooza is how fucking organized it is. As you approach the gates-with its massive inflatable lettering and masthead-you hear a sanitized voice-over letting you know which gate to approach and what you will need when you get there. It reassures you that 'emergency providers will be available first aid tents' in several locations. It reminds you of what you are-and what you are not-allowed to bring into Lollapalooza.<br /><br />After you are through the gate, that initial 50 feet where there is a thinned herd of people who have made it through bag check and wristband redemption is gawking around trying to figure out which way they should head, people are offering to check ID's and give you your wristbands now. Such a good use of that initial few moments, rather than the standard 2 lines at the beer tent.<br /><br />I catch the tail end of the Fratellis, who are playing on the MySpace stage. I had heard a bit of their music before, but I hadn't really noticed how great their sound was-a bit British Invasion. I liked them more than I had anticipated. I was able to head over to the food court and get a gyro while still listening to them. I particularly liked that.<br /><br />As would happen many times throughout the event, as they finished their closing chords, a voice from the opposing stage introduced the next act. It was quite beautiful choreographing.<br /><br />The next act, on the AT&T stage, was, for me, the big find of the first day. Ghostland Observatory. A big, chewy Cabernet of a funk rock act. I have embedded a video of them performing live at an other venue:<br /><br /><object height="350" width="425"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/pA0OdTcJ4WQ"><param name="wmode" value="transparent"><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/pA0OdTcJ4WQ" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" wmode="transparent" height="350" width="425"></embed></object><br /><br />Wow. I really got sunburned watching them. Here is a dramatic before and after recreation:<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjtmrr1vlFfLN9MmTi3-evojl99Q3ssgi9IsL1gMqNU9VYs-HbMMMohECW_Zu0PUfOqmcd2JVIdwvhr_7S_8uKV38iEaELqngvLmFyirnF5IQADs-fiTdzDWruNy95iNEyV14Ea1hKavgs/s1600-h/sunburn-post.gif"><img style="margin: 0pt 0pt 10px 10px; float: right; cursor: pointer;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjtmrr1vlFfLN9MmTi3-evojl99Q3ssgi9IsL1gMqNU9VYs-HbMMMohECW_Zu0PUfOqmcd2JVIdwvhr_7S_8uKV38iEaELqngvLmFyirnF5IQADs-fiTdzDWruNy95iNEyV14Ea1hKavgs/s200/sunburn-post.gif" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5095221265703844274" border="0" /></a><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi81KKUyqtxTlvklLgrkOHoXuPDe5yWus5sGozr8FSympnzTI0rH-qgK4nyl0g8oZQCauPtZUPxEjVj9yMvr6Ex7HyjJYxl5dlIIyZOmJOhRJmF2csESsLQ2SFlf4Q2c2hDU4-X23Eiy6M/s1600-h/sunburn-pre.gif"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; cursor: pointer;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi81KKUyqtxTlvklLgrkOHoXuPDe5yWus5sGozr8FSympnzTI0rH-qgK4nyl0g8oZQCauPtZUPxEjVj9yMvr6Ex7HyjJYxl5dlIIyZOmJOhRJmF2csESsLQ2SFlf4Q2c2hDU4-X23Eiy6M/s200/sunburn-pre.gif" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5095221184099465634" border="0" /></a><br /><br />When they were done Ted Leo and the Pharmacists started. I thought most of his songs were Thin Lizzy or Uriah Heep covers until he was halfway though them. Flipping back between the AT&T and the Myspace stage, which faced each other on the same field was remarkably easy and enjoyable. So when Leo was done, I started watching Jack's Mannequin. This is one of those suddenly ubiquitous rock bands led by a guy on a piano. A rock-band-led-by-a-guy-on-a-piano is the new blond-teenage-southern-girl-singer. If you are familiar with Jack's Mannequin and were wondering what their songs were about, he told us the backstory before each song. They are about, in order, 'a girl,' 'a girl I liked a lot,' 'a girl I used to know,' 'a girl who broke my heart,' and 'a girl.' (I wonder if he's gay?) The other unfortunate thing about Jack's Mannequin is that every time I hear the word mannequin, I think of Meshach Taylor as Hollywood Montrose from movie <span style="font-style: italic;">Mannequin</span>.<br /><br />By this point the sunburn I sustained from Ghostland Observatory's performance was now starting to bother me, so I headed to the shade, then decided to head to the north stages. I got a loose meat sandwich. The girl serving me asked who I was hear to see while we waited for my sandwich to be handed up to her.<br /><br />'There's a bunch of bands I'm happy to see,' I said, 'but there isn't one in particular I'm here for.' I smiled and asked her who she was here to see.<br /><br />She thought for just a beat and then smiled earnestly as she handed me my sandwich and said, 'I'm here to see you.'<br /><br />I thought that was very sweet and I told her so.<br /><br />I ate my sandwich and then fell asleep under a tree for about a half hour.<br /><br />I woke up in time to head to the Bud Light stage and watch M.I.A., who surprised me by having some of the most inaccessible music of the entire festival. This surprised me because I originally thought her hit <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7NVfuSFREmU">Bucky Done Gun</a> was just a fun dance number. She mixes tons of styles and sings notes that should be considered blue, but when she sings them, they're orange. She sounds like what world music would sound like, if world music wasn't targeted toward the NPR set.<br /><br />G Love and Special Sauce followed her on the opposing adidas stage. G Love is a blues band with hip-hop style vocals, which sounds promising. Unfortunately, their songs are largely a Jack Johnson style of boring. When you're 22, singing about cold beverages and your baby having sauce is great. At 34, singing about the cool kids hanging in the back of the bus is staid and retread.<br /><br />But, in fairness, I was standing on hot pavement and fighting off the beginnings of heat exhaustion when I saw them. I left after about 5 or 6 songs. I wasn't really excited about seeing either Satellite Party or The Black Keys, so I was trying to figure out if I wanted to pass the time until LCD Soundsystem and Daft Punk came one. But I knew I was fading and Daft Punk wouldn't even be going on for nearly two and a half hours. <br /><br />I decided to head home and cool down. There would be lots more to see over the next two days.Erikhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07425331958599186471noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5099679454563493841.post-17672363310241862732007-08-03T06:44:00.000-05:002007-08-03T07:10:46.018-05:00Pizza and StyleLast night I met a friend for pizza at Piece. They serve New Haven style pizza--a rather thin, crispy crust baked on cookie sheets with tomato sauce and Parmesan. When you order it the waitress says, 'It doesn't have mozzarella, is that okay?'<br /><br />I think I'd get very tired of asking that to every table. But I guess it's not terribly different from asking, 'would you like cream with your coffee?' And I never got tired of asking that. It was just something I did.<br /><br />We walked back to my place and watched Patton Oswalt's <span style="font-style: italic;">Warewolves and Lollipops</span>. Afterwards, he gave me a blowjob. (I always have to check my 15th edition <span style="font-style: italic;">Chicago Manual of Style</span> to ensure movie titles are to be italicized. I can't really imagine what else I'd do with them. Perhaps reading too much internet, I feel they should just be hyperlinked.)Erikhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07425331958599186471noreply@blogger.com1