Sometimes I wish that I could stop me from talking...

one

After the rugby game, someone's complaining that he was told he had manboobs. (which he did)

He asked a group of us if we though he had manboobs, lifting his shirt slightly above his nipples as he did so.

'Yeah, you have'em,' I said, with buzzing honesty, 'but they're not huge. They're like a French girl in an independent film. I wouldn't worry about it.'

two

I'm talking to someone about gay people and the difficulty of creating an identity that doesn't center around their sexuality.

I'm talking about how I was spared some of this difficulty because I have gay father. Oddly, at some point I try to make a comparison to the newly rich and refer to gay people who don't have a gay parent as 'nouveau gay.'